Brianna's Blog Post # 13: Years That Ask and Years That Answer

Years That Ask and Years That Answer


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(My recent visit with the master of success, the great American Pharoah)


I was fortunate to be forced by some educational reasoning to read “Their Eyes Were Watching God” over winter break. This really equates to forcing myself to procrastinate and read the whole book in two days as is my tradition. It is my belief that procrastination really means “being a pro at the last minute” thus its definition is easier to live by. None the less my unhealthy habits are not the moral of my story.

When I finally got around to reading the assignment I found a rather interesting sentence which states “There are years that ask questions and years that answer.” Since the day was new year's eve, Zora Neale's work resonated with me. I thought what a beautiful way to reflect on each year's passing. So I asked myself “Did 2015 ask a question or did it answer one?” Without a doubt it answered one, if not several, questions.

As riders, especially young riders, we have to face ourselves with the tough question “is this what I want to do for fun or for forever?” I think we all have dreams of the upper echelons of our extraordinary sport, but most of us know what line we walk on, whether that is the recreational side or the professional one.  I on the other hand have been battling back and forth with my commitment issues. I had considered many safer options other than professional equine trainer such as equine lawyer, nutritionist, appraiser, and even journalist, but still I have come back to the mentally, physically, and emotionally more difficult career choice of equine trainer/athlete. I continued to question whether I was willing to work as hard as I will be required to work or simply whether I am willing to accept the risk that comes with such a career. Fortunately 2015 offered an answer to some of the questions that have come from considering my options.

I had been presented with a proposition to apply to the famed Harvard University by a customer of mine my freshman year of highschool. I had tentatively pursued that goal throughout my high school career, that is good grades and above average effort. Unfortunately it seemed that as each year passed I became less intrigued by Harvard's mystic. Then at the end of 2015 I finally followed through by submitting my Harvard application. I wrote an abstract essay telling my life story and what made me unique. Then I found myself praying that I would get on the waitlist so I would not have to go to Harvard, but so I could feel as though I was not rejected. None the less my hopes were shattered when I was flat out rejected, but my dreams were not.

I finally accepted that it is not my dream to go to Harvard and get a fancy degree and become some form of financially stable. Even though I had hoped that was what I wanted. It was not. Instead it turns out that I would prefer to go to some community college, get a degree in equine science and live life precariously perched between living the dream and starving artist. Crazy how that is, isn't it?

Thus as I look back on 2015 I see training breakthroughs and competition victories and above all I see how much I love the game, the puzzle and the sheer beauty of the equestrian sport. 2015 inspired me to give the horse thing a real go. It gave me permission to take the path least traveled and the courage to face the challenges that lay ahead. The reality is 2015 rejected my application for an acceptable and safe life career. It answered the ultimate question “what do you want to be when you grow up?” with the words that I have long been in love with and the actual moral of my story “Live doing what you love, otherwise it's not really worth doing at all.”

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